IN LOVE OR IN LUST?

IN LOVE OR IN LUST

(Based in part on I Corinthians 13, the love chapter)

Love is patient, love is kind;

It does not envy or boast.

Lust can’t wait; to sin it is blind,

The devil himself is its host.

Love is never conceited or rude;

It doesn’t think of self only.

Lust is vain; its language is crude,

And it preys upon the lonely.

Love doesn’t keep a score of hurts--

Never a record of wrongs.

Lust keeps a record every time it scores,

And the list may be quite long.

Love never gloats when another sins;

It always delights in trust.

Lust sins, then shamelessly gloats;

Who can trust someone full of lust?

Love can face anyone or thing,

With faith, hope, and endurance.

Lust is weak, but consider its source;

Satan leaves no hope or assurance.

Love will last forever,

For rooted in God is true love.

Lust is fleeting and shallow,

And it comes from below, not above.

Becky Wall

PASSIVE VIOLENCE

PASSIVE VIOLENCE

Malachi 2:16 - “'The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,'” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That old saying couldn't be further from the truth. What we normally hear or read as passive aggression, I am going to call passive violence because that is the way Malachi 2 addresses it, though particularly as unfaithfulness. 

Passive violence, also known as passive aggression, is verbally hurting a person, embarrassing that person or humiliating them in some way. There are so many ways that words can hurt, and those words often hurt for a lifetime and shape a person's life in a negative way. The intent of the words makes a big difference. If the person is telling a joke or teasing at your expense, that's a form of violence or aggression that occurs without ever throwing a blow. Physical harm will usually heal within 10 days but often the words that come with teasing hurt deep and long.

I ask the aggressor "Is a response of laughter that lasts less than a minute worth hurting someone in a way that lasts a lifetime?" The one doing the teasing may be hurt just as long as the one being teased. The laughter is often followed by guilt if the person doing the teasing is smart enough and caring enough to realize they have done a lifetime of harm to another person.

Humiliating a person reduces that person's confidence and happiness and may rob the person's peace. That victim may be good at hiding emotional hurt, but may go home and cry his or her eyes out. The person usually never forgets the verbal abuser and how those verbal blows were thrown. The experience plays a role in shaping the lives of the victim but in a negative way. It's like a piece of pottery being lovingly shaped by parents, family and friends but then someone comes along and stabs the pottery with a fork or knife while it is drying so that when the owner comes to that soul's artwork, it is scarred permanently.

Similarly, when a person is cornered when he or she makes a mistake just so that person can be made fun of, that is passive violence. The hurt is there and the damage is done, but with words and not fists.

Other examples of passive violence are dirty tricks like tripping someone, causing a person to drop what the individual is holding, splattering a substance on that person, putting a bug in his or her drink, tying the person up, confining the unwilling person, pushing a victim in mud, abusing a person emotionally such as causing that person to question his or her worth or talent, insulting a person, treating a person like that person is beneath you, roll your eyes when you see a certain person, etc.

Does any of this sound familiar? Unfortunately passive violence, also known as passive aggression, has become part of our daily lives. One could say it falls into the norm. TV shows such as sitcoms build their scenes around passive aggression. Our kids grow up learning such behavior. Parents are surprised when they find out their child or children participated in passive aggressive behavior. Never think it is acceptable to hurt a person in any way, shape, or form.

The worst form of passive violence is to be unfaithful to a spouse. Malachi 2 warns of this kind of violence in Chapter 2, verses 15-16. "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

--Becky Wall