PASSIVE AGGRESSION: The Butt of Jokes/Teasing

PASSIVE AGGRESSION: THE BUTT OF JOKES/TEASING

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That old saying couldn't be further from the truth. Passive aggression is verbally hurting a person, embarrassing that person or humiliating them in some way. There are so many ways that words can hurt, and they often hurt for a lifetime and shape a person's life in a negative way. The intent of the words makes a big difference. If the person is telling a joke or teasing at your expense, that's aggression without ever throwing a blow. Physical harm will usually heal within 10 days but the words that come with teasing hurt deep and long. 

I ask the aggressor "Is a response of laughter that lasts less than a minute worth hurting someone in a way that lasts a lifetime?" The one doing the teasing may be hurt just as long as the one being teased. The laughter is often followed by guilt if the person doing the teasing is smart enough and caring enough to realize they have done a lifetime of harm to another person.

Humiliating a person reduces their confidence and happiness and may rob them of their peace. That victim may be good at hiding their hurt but may go home and cry their eyes out. They never forget who verbally abused them and how those verbal blows were thrown. The experience plays a role in shaping their lives but in a negative way. It's like a piece of pottery being lovingly shaped by parents, family and friends but then someone comes along and stabs the pottery with a fork or knife while it is drying so that when the owner comes to retrieve their artwork, it is scarred permanently.

Other examples of passive aggression is tripping someone, causing a person to drop what the person is holding, splattering a substance on that person, putting a bug in his or her drink, tying the person up, confining the unwilling person, pushing a person in mud, abuse a person emotionally such as causing the person to question his or her worth or talent, insulting a person, etc.

Does any of this sound familiar? Unfortunately passive aggression has become part of our daily lives. One could say it falls into the norm. TV shows such as sitcoms build their scenes around passive aggression. Our kids grow up learning from such behavior. Parents are surprised when they learn their child or children participated in passive aggressive behavior. Never think it is acceptable to hurt a person in any way, shape, or form.