DEALING WITH A PERSON WITH DEPRESSION
Most of us have had a bout of depression. Some have deep or clinical depression. Their world is dark, hopeless, unloving, hurtful, and everything and everybody are seen in a negative light. Maybe I should say a negative darkness. Many with depression will say they feel as if a dark cloud is hanging over them or that a dark blanket envelops them when they walk away from a well lit area filled with "normal" people and into their own living space.
People who have overcome depression are more empathetic toward others, especially those who are going through a phase of depression. Sometimes just talking it out makes a big difference. People who have had situational depression or worse are better equipped to handle a future situation because they have been through a storm or storms and realize the sun will shine again. They actually become stronger.
Encourage the person with depression to pour his or her emotions into an art form such as singing, playing an instrument, writing, sculpting, etc. If the person is into sports, give it his/her all. An art form without emotions poured into it is like the difference between creative writing and a newspaper article. It's like playing sports half-heartedly which almost guarantees a loss. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters..."
Does the person have ADHD? Persons with ADHD go through spells of depression, but they also have excess energy and emotions. Therefore, when they become adults, they fit right in with the teenagers. They have the energy to lead them while the rest of us have lost energy. Their excess energy makes them hard workers. They have a need to stay busy. They have trouble focusing but when they do, they can take their thoughts to a level others don't. Many with ADHD do get depressed until they learn to corral their emotions and behavior. Then they often excel. Encourage the person who has it to corral their ADHD traits and use them for the good. All children have to learn to corral their behavior. Kids with ADHD have to try harder to corral theirs partly because their emotions run so high. When they do act out, they are ashamed afterwards and think no one loves them because they are "bad." ADHD isn't a bad thing to have once the person learns to use his or her excess energy for good. As I mentioned before, pouring their emotions into an art form is great therapy and often produces an exceptional outcome.
Self-discipline is needed in order to be an overcomer of suicidal thoughts, depression or anxiety. Paul says in the book of Corinthians, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize" I Corinthians 9:24-27, NIV. Focus on serving others and give it your all. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." Eccl. 9:10a.
Suicide among young people is at an all-time high. Suicide starts with depression. Suicidal thoughts can quickly escalate or take months to build up. If you do happen to speak to someone with suicidal thoughts or comments, try to learn if they are serious, though even then a person can't be sure the person is being forthright. Find out if they have a plan and if they do, how would they do it--cut their wrist, use a weapon, jump off a building, drown themselves, overdose on drugs? Has their normal behavior changed? Do they have dark circles around their eyes indicating lack of sleep or other health problems. Ask them when is the last time they slept and ate. That is important. They need their sleep and fuel to ward off evil thoughts toward themselves. Are they taking the medicine they have been prescribed, if any? Have they been giving their belongings away?
Keep the person bent on self destruction talking if that person talks like they're going to take action. Ask them who would be hurt by their death? Name their closest kin and friends or ask that person to name them. Ask if they have a pet. What is their favorite season? Remind them it will come around again. What sport do they like? What team? Do they like to swim? What was the funnest thing they ever did. What was their most embarrassing moment? Tell them one of yours. (For me it was waving good-bye to my boyfriend in jr. high and turning around and walking into a tree with him still watching.) Tell them about things the future may hold. They would miss out on their friends and siblings getting married, then their friends and siblings would have kids who would love their uncle or aunt, as the case may be. Their favorite sports team may take home the national prize. They wouldn't want to miss out on that. The future will hold some down times but it will also hold some exciting and fun times or even peaceful times.
If the person has been "dumped" by a boyfriend or girlfriend, don't minimize their feelings. Sympathize with them. Memorize the following scripture verses but don't worry if you have a difficult time memorizing book, chapter and verse, like Luke 6:21. "Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh." When a person is hurting now, their emotional pain will eventually turn to joy. God will punish those who cause pain to others instead of showing love. Those who laugh at a hurting person will be brought to tears. Our charge is to "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15) no matter the reason.
As I mentioned before, people who have been through depression can be especially helpful to those who are currently grieving over a situation. They have been through storms and realize the sun will shine again. Never underestimate the good you can do just by talking to someone who is depressed.
Becky Wall
beckowall.blogspot.com
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