A REPRESENTATION OF OUR NATION'S POTENTIAL CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE FROM GOD

I, GOD, Creator of all men of All Nations and the Universe,

do hereby issue to you, United States of America,

on this 15th day of August,

in the Two Thousand Thirteenth year of your Lord, A.D., this

CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE

for the cause of unfaithfulness.

Because you have quenched the flame of love you once had for me and my Son, Jesus Christ, and instead burn with passion for other gods, and because you have committed the ultimate betrayal of turning away from us, and for the further cause of no longer holding as hallowed our names, including that of "Christian" that you once wore, your nation must relinquish all privileges you have enjoyed in this marriage.

Let it be known that you will suffer severe punishment if you continue to wear the name "Christian" at your convenience. By this action, you will no longer be the bride of the Holy Trinity, heretofore referred to as GOD. I will no longer be your husband. You will no longer be my people and I will no longer be your God.

Said certificate does hereby relieve me of any responsibility for your debts; they will no longer be canceled.

No subpoenas will be served nor any court action taken in lieu of the fact that I am the Supreme Judge, having authority over all others.

With this certificate I do, with agonizing sorrow on my part, and no fear or trepidation on yours, declare us to be divorced forevermore, or until you repent of your adulterous and evil ways. But if you should ever decide to return to me with heartfelt repentance and remorse, I will once again be yours throughout eternity.



WITNESS:
I, Satan, with malice and forethought, and of unsound mind and being, do act as a biased and exuberant witness to the dissolution of this marriage and to the entire matter thereof.


____________
     Satan



I wrote this for a class at St. Louis Christian College in 1999, though I edited it somewhat for this blog. I was inspired by Jeremiah 3:8 and Malachi 2:10-16.


Becky Wall