THE MYSTERY OF WHO IS KILLING THE CHURCH
People are killing Christ's church. Their so-called righteous teachings and actions have caused it to decay. Never fear, the case has been solved, thanks to me, Will Hinder. Just help me restrain the preacher. The man has such nerve. His out-of-touch sermons against abortion, homosexuality, and gambling are never politically or socially correct, and he doesn't even care. He must be silenced. He speaks for the Mastermind, Who I have yet to accept. His words are a double-edged sword, and they strike at the heart. Yes, the preacher has the church's demise on his mind. Nothing short of our sacrifice will shut him up. Is it any wonder the church is dying?!
His accomplice is Earnest Elder. He's always after my wallet. He spouts off scriptures on tithing knowing I can't afford to give until I get my new boat paid off. I guess I'll slap my money down on the offering plate. Give! Give! Give! Who else would be willing to make such a sacrifice?
Then there is Ima Babylover. I am so tired of her pathetic pro-life leaflets and gory brochures. People should be protected from seeing graphic pictures of bloody and dismembered babies. And her letters to the editor make me so irate and ashamed. Doesn't she know God gives us the right of "choice." You'd think she was fighting a war but, in fact, it is she who is killing us.
And what about Tru Lee Kare. He's so judgmental. He thinks the gay lifestyle could hurt the church or his family or even gays themselves. They deserve the right to adopt kids. Where in heaven did that old-fashioned definition of family come from, anyway? Children should be taught to accept homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle. If the church won't teach it, then the schools should. Gays can't help themselves; they were born with their weaknesses, just like abusers, alcoholics, and pedophiles. A lot of gays are dying with AIDS, but is True Lee concerned? Does True Lee have compassion? Noooooo! He just keeps talking about repentance, mercy, and some big, long word called "sanctification." He's destroying us!
Bea Callin must be stopped, also. She tries to get people to do church work when they don't have time, or that they don't want to do. Just let me get ready to walk out the door to go to a sports event, and she phones. By the time I explain to her the reasons why I can't help with VBS or visit the sick or whatever, I'm running late. She turns me off. How can she get any help that way; it's overkill!
This concludes my investigation; I know who is killing Christ's church. It's those pushy, intolerant, self-righteous, politically and socially incorrect bigots and homophobes sitting in their pews Sunday after Sunday praying for our country, arrogantly thinking they have the answer. Well, I, for one, am doing my part to save the church. Not only will I withhold my tithes, but I plan to shut these people down. I'll make sure everyone knows to avoid them. What's that you say--Destroyer? Save your praise. I know they will seek to ruin me, but somebody's got to do it. Will Hinder
And what about Tru Lee Kare. He's so judgmental. He thinks the gay lifestyle could hurt the church or his family or even gays themselves. They deserve the right to adopt kids. Where in heaven did that old-fashioned definition of family come from, anyway? Children should be taught to accept homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle. If the church won't teach it, then the schools should. Gays can't help themselves; they were born with their weaknesses, just like abusers, alcoholics, and pedophiles. A lot of gays are dying with AIDS, but is True Lee concerned? Does True Lee have compassion? Noooooo! He just keeps talking about repentance, mercy, and some big, long word called "sanctification." He's destroying us!
Bea Callin must be stopped, also. She tries to get people to do church work when they don't have time, or that they don't want to do. Just let me get ready to walk out the door to go to a sports event, and she phones. By the time I explain to her the reasons why I can't help with VBS or visit the sick or whatever, I'm running late. She turns me off. How can she get any help that way; it's overkill!
This concludes my investigation; I know who is killing Christ's church. It's those pushy, intolerant, self-righteous, politically and socially incorrect bigots and homophobes sitting in their pews Sunday after Sunday praying for our country, arrogantly thinking they have the answer. Well, I, for one, am doing my part to save the church. Not only will I withhold my tithes, but I plan to shut these people down. I'll make sure everyone knows to avoid them. What's that you say--Destroyer? Save your praise. I know they will seek to ruin me, but somebody's got to do it. Will Hinder
Epilogue: Will himself seeks to hinder or even destroy the church while promoting his own worldly views. He thinks everyone should think like him. Never mind what the Bible says.
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